Celebuwreck

The Happiest 2 Months of Her Life

November 14, 2007 -

Dear Diary....

Today my celebrity truly begins.   the Hollywood Foreign Press announced that I (lil ol' Potato head) will be Miss Golden Globe 2008.   This is my moment...when all the world will see that I can be just as glamorous as Paris or Hayden or Lindsay.  I won't have to live in mom's shadow anymore (heavy sigh).  It seems that the golden finger of Hollywood destiny has plucked me from relative obscurity and is giving me my chance to shine in front of all of Hollywood royalty, and the WORLD.  I'll have a stylist to pick my gown, and the prettiest matching beret (that's my signature piece - every actress has to have a signature piece in her wardrobe), someone to do my makeup (maybe a glittering purple eye - how pretty would that be?), and someone to do my hair....and I'll get a HUUUUUUGE gift basket - Awesome!

God I hope dad doesn't get nominated for anything this year...I would just DIE if he was on stage with one of his bimbo girlfriends that's my age.  It's bad enough when he shows up with them at the same clubs as me...but geez, let me have my moment!!!!!!

Ugh...and mom - don't even get me started on her.  Please don't let her be a presenter this year. If we have to be in a picture together that's not a family portrait I'm gonna puke!!!!!  I haven't had all the plastic surgery yet - it's not fair that everyone compares me to her.

January 4, 2008 - I have been crying for hours....who am I going to present to?  This was my day, my coming out ball, my moment to shine, my destiny!!!!!!!  I thought they loved me.  Why is this happening to me?  Why? Why? Why?  I wonder if I'll still get the gift bag?

Photo by: NEILL J. SCHUTZER / RAMEY

Bimbs, Broads, and Ho's

What do you get when you cross a 2 month long writer's strike with a desperate network?  The Celebrity Apprentice.  Trust me, that IS a joke.  Against my better judgement, I sucked it up and watched the first episode of this mess. The charities that are getting the money from all of these "challenges" should be divided up and sent out as reimbursement checks to all of us morons watching this ilk.

Well that didn't take long.  I thought there would be a "pose off" between Tiffany and Jenna, but Tito pimped her out to sell some wieners on the streets of New York.  How appropriate.  A pose off would have added waaaaaaay more interest to this show.

Who is this crazy ass bitch Omarosa?  OMG - I saw her on the first Apprentice and thought she was a tool then.  According to her bio, she's an image consultant.   If your own image is crap and no one has heard or seen you in 5 years, one must assume that you're not the breadwinner in the house.

Source: PRN / PR Photos

So What Was Brit On Tonight You Ask?

We'd all like to have the answer to that, including the police and K-Fed, or at least his lawyers.

The kids were successfully turned back over to K-Fed.  But according to TMZ.com, while the police were at Miss Brit's house they discovered her to be "under the influence of an unknown substance."  There are ambulances on the scene.

Now It's a Custody Dispute

Police were called to Britney Spears' house late Thursday in a custodial dispute involving her children, a police spokesman said.  Around 8 p.m. police were called to Spears' Los Angeles residence, said Officer Jason Lee.  At 10 p.m., the police were still there, he said.  The call involved a "family custodial dispute that we are trying to resolve ... peacefully by court order," said Lee.  No further details were released.

(Of course the paps were outside her house so there's an eyewitness account.)  An Associated Press photographer outside the gates of the residence saw six police cars, an ambulance and a fire truck enter around 10:30 p.m. None of the vehicles were flashing sirens. A dispatcher with the Los Angeles Fire Department referred calls to the police department.

Spears and Kevin Federline are fighting over custody of their sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James.  K-Fed has temporary custody of the children because Spears, who has limited visitation rights, has defied court orders (and several laws). 

Calls to attorneys for Federline and Spears were not immediately returned.  Earlier Thursday, Spears appeared for a deposition in her custody dispute.  Britney was deposed for just 14 minutes (because she showed up 1 hour and 45 minutes late), attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan told reporters after Spears left.

According to TMZ.com, K-Fed's bodyguards came to pick up the kids and Britney wouldn't turn them over. 

With all the helicopters, paps, fire trucks, ambulances and police cars in front of her house, it looks like a high speed chase ended at her doorstep.  Oh her neighbors must LOVE her!!!!!  I'm sure in a sign of neighborliness...they'll be bringing over some casseroles for her tomorrow.

Let The Games Begin

It's Obama and Huckabee, but there's a loooooooong road ahead.  Next up?  New Hampshire.

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